All Emotions Are True – But Not All Should Be Followed Blindly

We often hear people say, “Don’t feel that way,” or “You’re overreacting.” These phrases may come from good intentions, but they shut down something vital: the honest truth our emotions are trying to tell us.

As Karla McLaren explains in The Language of Emotions, the primary rule of emotional flow is simple yet profound: all emotions are true. Whether it’s joy, anger, shame, or grief, every emotion arises for a reason—pointing to something in our environment, our body, or our inner world. Even emotions that feel irrational, repetitive, or overwhelming are signalling something real, perhaps an unhealed trauma, a forgotten memory, or an unmet need.

However, truth does not equal instruction. An emotion may be telling the truth about how hurt or threatened you feel, but that doesn’t mean you should act on it without reflection. Some emotions can pull us toward destructive choices—lashing out, withdrawing completely, or repeating harmful patterns. The task, then, is not to suppress emotions, nor to obey them blindly, but to listen with curiosity and compassion.

This requires creating a sacred space for emotions—both in ourselves and in others—where they can be acknowledged without judgment. Instead of trying to “fix” or silence emotions, we can approach them with empathic mindfulness, asking: What truth is this feeling pointing to? By doing so, we support the healthy flow of our inner life and strengthen our connection to others.

McLaren reminds us that when emotions become overwhelming—such as in deep depression, intense anxiety, or uncontrollable rage—seeking support is crucial. Emotional truth is valuable, but so is the stability and care we need to process it safely.

When we stop treating emotions as problems to be solved, and start seeing them as messengers, we move closer to an authentic and balanced way of living.

Reference: McLaren, K. (2010). The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.