Endings, Beginnings, and the Paradox of Living Fully

One of the most confronting yet profound realisations in human life is the awareness that we will one day die. Paradoxically, this awareness does not diminish life; rather, it gives life depth, urgency, and meaning. To recognise our mortality is, in many ways, to recognise that we are truly alive.

Life is inherently paradoxical. We invest in relationships, careers, and projects knowing—often unconsciously—that they will not last forever. To plant a tree and nurture its growth is also to accept that its life will eventually end. Living, therefore, always contains the seed of loss. Yet it is precisely this finiteness that makes our commitments meaningful.

Endings as Human Experience

Endings are woven into everyday life. Friendships change or dissolve, relationships end, pets die, careers shift, and identities evolve. These experiences can feel deeply painful and destabilising. They may bring grief, sadness, anxiety, or a sense of emptiness. It is understandable that such transitions can affect emotional wellbeing and leave people feeling stuck or overwhelmed.

Yet endings are not only losses. When something genuinely comes to an end, it also creates space—space for reflection, reorganisation, and new possibilities. Difficulty often arises when we remain psychologically attached to what has finished, unable to fully acknowledge or mourn it. In such cases, the past can limit our capacity to engage with what lies ahead.

The Paradox of Limitation and Possibility

An important psychological paradox is that limitation and possibility exist together. When we acknowledge that something is over, we are also acknowledging that something else can begin. This does not minimise the pain associated with endings; rather, it recognises them as part of a broader process of growth and change.

Many people seek therapy during periods of transition—when a relationship ends, a role changes, or a sense of identity is disrupted. Often, progress involves recognising that a particular chapter has closed and allowing the emotional energy tied to it to become available for the present.

Living in the Present

Psychological change often occurs when attention shifts from what was or what might be, to what is happening now. Bringing experience into the present moment allows individuals to notice their emotions, thoughts, and bodily responses as they arise. This awareness can clarify choices and support more intentional ways of responding to life’s challenges.

When people face the reality that life is finite, they are often prompted to reconsider priorities, values, and relationships. This awareness can lead to greater authenticity, clearer boundaries, and more meaningful engagement with life as it is.

Living More Fully

Therapy does not remove the reality of loss or endings. Instead, it can support individuals to face these experiences with honesty and compassion. By acknowledging both the pain of endings and the possibilities they contain, people often find that life feels richer, more grounded, and more alive.

In accepting that things end, we are not giving in to despair. We are recognising the full reality of being human—and in doing so, opening the door to new ways of living.

Reference

Skottun, G., & Krüger, Å. (2021). Gestalt therapy practice: Theory and experiential learning. Routledge.