Do We Really Know What We Want? Lessons from Decision-Making
One of the striking insights from Dan Ariely’s Predictably Irrational is that we often believe we know what we want, but in reality, our preferences are less clear and far more malleable than we assume.
Take the example he shares about buying a car. At age 30, Ariely decided it was time to move on from his motorcycle to a car. Unsure of which car suited him, he turned to a (now-defunct) website that promised to recommend the perfect car based on his preferences.
The site asked detailed questions about safety ratings, braking distance, turning radius, passenger capacity, and price range. Ariely answered thoughtfully, watching the progress bar move closer to his “ideal” match. After 15 minutes of careful responses, the result appeared: a Ford Taurus.
Although perfectly reasonable by the given criteria, Ariely immediately rejected the recommendation. Fresh from motorcycle life, he couldn’t picture himself in what felt like a conservative, sedate sedan. So, he went back and changed many of his answers—lowering his interest in safety, reducing passenger needs, and subtly altering preferences until the website finally recommended a Mazda Miata, a small convertible. This time, the choice felt right. He happily bought the car and kept it for years.
So, what happened?
Despite the structured process, Ariely’s decision was driven less by rational analysis and more by a gut feeling of what “fit” him at the time. The website ultimately functioned less as a decision-maker and more as a rationalization tool, allowing him to justify what he truly wanted deep down.
This story reflects a broader psychological truth:
Our decision-making often involves a tug-of-war between rational calculation and emotional intuition.
We frequently adjust our reasoning after the fact to make choices feel more logical.
Rationalization isn’t necessarily harmful—it can provide confidence and reduce regret, even if the initial choice stems from instinct.
In psychology, this interplay between reason and intuition shows up everywhere—from career decisions to relationships, health choices, and financial planning. Recognizing that we may not always know exactly what we want can help us approach big decisions with humility and curiosity. Sometimes, allowing our emotions a voice in the process may lead to outcomes that feel more authentic and satisfying.
Reference
Ariely, D. (2009). Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions (Revised and Expanded Edition). HarperCollins.
